The -Original- Repeat Offender

Men who send the copy and pasted e-mail multiple times irk me to no end, but every once in a while there will be an original second e-mail. This original has to really catch my attention for me to respond, and there have been a few that have done this. However, some go on like they either never sent the first e-mail, like I responded to the first e-mail or have to comment on the fact that they didn’t get an e-mail back.

The Chopping Block

From: 8_GFT_8

Subject: hi you

Hope your having a great week…

Came across your profile which was very attractive btw…Have you taken any vacations recently this year?

Do you ever go to Royals games?

On a personal note, I travel to KC 2-3 times per month for business and personal fun.

Tell me more about yourself…Jeff

2 days later…

From: 8_GFT_8

Subject: uh-oh

Looks likes I got cut from the team!..lol

I’m not looking for a long distance relationship or a booty call every time you’re in town. So yes, you were “cut from the team.” Please, just take it like a man.

How to Get Your Attention?

From:WterSkerPro

Subject: Had to say hello

Amazing smile! I had to say hello. I am a goofball who is always up for an adventure….you game?

2 Days later…

From: WterSkerPro

Subject: Lots of humor…

Lot’s of humor sprinkled with smarts, adventure and personality. Not curious at all??

1 week later….

From: WterSkerPro

Subject: Hmmm… How to get your attention.

Hmmm… How to get your attention.

Well you obviously haven’t gotten it the way you’ve been trying. So just stop.

The Jokester

From: Kendon81

Subject: Random joke for the day

Random joke for the day — What’s the hardest part about being a roller bladder???

—-

Telling your parents that you’re gay! ;)

1 day later…

From: Kendon81

Subject: Can you handle me

Think you can handle a Vin Diesel look alike with the smarts of Einstein and the wit of Russel Brand aka me! ?;)

First of all, I did not appreciate the joke. I have a lot of people in my life that are gay and this joke is offensive. Secondly, Vin is not really my type.

Those silly little taglines…

I’ve done posts on tag lines before… there are always weird ones and some of them never cease to amaze me with their quirkiness.

NAMES DARK CHILD AN IM LOOKN FOR MS DO RIGHT

Dark Child huh? Interesting that you’re looking for a “do right”

Please don’t be my next stalker

How many stalkers have you had?

Did somebody pee in the dating pool?

LOL… This one’s kind of funny.

My imaginary friend thinks I’m pretty cool…

You’re 29 years old and have an imaginary friend? Interesting.

My charm is so contagious, vaccines have been created for it

This makes you sound completely full of yourself.

Looking for a female. You can pretend I’m PRINCE WILLIAM

I don’t know that anyone can pretend to be Prince William, you aren’t a prince sir.

Smart as a horse hung like Enstine

I guess the fact that you spelled Einstein’s name wrong would explain this tag line.

looking for my tan legged juliet

huh? Must she have tan legs??

Bottom line: Choose your tag line wisely.

Back in the good ol’ Midwest

As life sometimes does, it threw a wrench in my plans, and I find myself back in the Midwest. I was looking forward to the dating possibilities in Charleston, but after 2 unsuccessful dates and 1 cancelation, I wasn’t that heartbroken to move back and leave the Charleston online dating scene behind.

I am pleased to find a new set of men in the online dating world in my age range. As I browsed through these men I began to see a common theme:

You know what they say, “One woman’s trash is another woman’s treasure.” So I will never rule out someone for being divorced (unless it was because he was unfaithful) and although I’d like to be with someone without kids, I would never dismiss someone for that. I will however rule out weirdos who send me messages like these:

From: KS7020

Subject: Good Afternoon

Hi Lindsey,

How are you,may we talk and set up a time and place to meet for dinner so we can have a relaxing meal while we become friend’s.Alittle more about me:I’m a smart funny athletic loyal successful quick-witted levelheaded guy that is a wonderful cook keep’s a tidy house that know’s how to treat a lady.

so would you prefer to meet down on the Plaza or up @ Zona for our first date

PS:don’t mind my vague profile because I know once we talk and meet in person and become friend’s I know you’ll be happy we did.

Mark

10 days later…

From: KS7020

Subject: Hey Linds, lets talk on the phone tonight

so we can set up a time and place to meet for dinner so we can have a relaxing meal while we get to know one another.

What kind of creeper expects a woman to say “Sure! No problem” ??? He’s either a very aggressive guy or very desperate. Either way, it’s a turn off!

From: congo25

Subject: How was your day? I’m sun burnt and hanging out …

How was your day? I’m sun burnt and hanging out watching kitchen nightmares. I love Gordon Ramsey lol

This seems more like it would be a text from someone I’ve been talking to for a bit. Not a first e-mail to someone. And quite frankly, Gordon Ramsey gives me anxiety the way he yells at people…I don’t know that I would get along well with someone who “loves” him!

From: lookin4theright1

Subject: Never Wished

I was 6’0 so bad in my life :(

Any exceptions?

Maybe if you weren’t 45 years old!!!

Also while browsing through “Who has viewed me” I came across a man that was 63 years old. 63!!! His sons, that he mentioned raising, are probably my age! So unless he’s wanting to set one of them up with me he should NOT be looking at a 29 year old’s profile!

Of course the e-mails haven’t all been bad but every time I get a weird one I can’t help but wonder: What the hell are you thinking?

The selfie

We all know how I feel about the shirtless picture…. it screams “I’m a tool!” Really any selfie photo where you look like an ass screams tool for me. Apparently I’m not the only one:

“You know you’re a douche bag when you’re taking a photo in the mirror in your towel”

-Rachel-Millionaire Match Maker-

Now here is a true Mirror Selfie:

I also have to wonder when men take the mirror selfie & the flash blocks their face why they post it on their profile …. Clearly it is because they are a tool and just want to show off their body….

And then there is the “I’m going to just cover my face and post it anyway because my abs look good” guy:

What is wrong with people?

So as you all know I joined Match and there seems to be somewhat quality men out here. I also have dabbled in Plenty of Fish in the past and wanted to see what it is like here in Charleston. Part of me really wishes I hadn’t. Some of these images are ones you can never erase from your mind …. lucky for you I’m sharing them.

Really?? This one wins …. top prize by a long shot!

Yes friends, this man is the “Sexiest man of the year” and proud of it.

You better “get it get it get it!!!!!” before someone else does!!!

HUH?! I really don’t understand this one…

This next man …. let me rephrase, boy, shows off his high level of maturity through his profile pictures:

To finish it off here is a photo that put a smile on my face.

All the odd ones don’t have to be bad esp when it includes vodka!

Do gentlemen still exist?

I’m already feeling a bit nostalgic and had to post one more time about the special people in San Francisco. Here are a few of the great e-mails I received:

From: DylanMcKay90210

We should have a movie night together tonight:)

Noah:)

Sorry Noah aka Dylan McKay, I do not have “movie nights” with people I don’t know from the internet …. even if you like to pretend you are as smooth (and handsome) as Dylan! Let me also point out that this message was sent at midnight …

From: sky013

Hi ! How are you doing ? You are cute !! Lets meet for dinner.

By the way Im ocine french algerian , whats your phone number ?

Why do guys think it’s ok to do this? I’m really curious if they have had success with this in the past or they just keep trying, thinking, “One of these times it’s gotta work!” Ugh … But I learned my lesson with  Mr. Whatever  not to ask and just to ignore!

From: PutOnYourSmile

How would you like to be my girlfrien for valentines’s day? Why did I leave out the d? I left it out because you’ll get that later

Oh my word. This message just makes me laugh, who says that?! And who asks someone 2 days before Valentines Day to be their “girlfrien” ?? But as I’m finding out this is more common then I thought:

Basically men are pigs … It seems there are less and less gentlemen in this world by the minute, but I’m still determined I’ll find one!

The Apology … Better Late Then Never??

I had dated Brian for a few months and we were moving forward nicely. He took me to the airport when I was leaving town and even texted me while I was gone that he wished I was there hanging out with him. (It was New Years Eve mind you.)

When I got home, there was nothing. Not a phone call, not a text, not even a response to my text. He had fallen off the planet, like so many men do.

A year later I received a message from him.

From: B_80

Subjuct: Hey

How are you? Hope all is well. I just wanted to apologize for not handling things well at all last year. It was a dick move and I hope I’ve grown up since then.

Anyway hope you’re doing well.

Brian

 1) This guy hadn’t crossed my mind in many, many months. 2) I don’t want to say, “It’s ok.” because it wasn’t “ok” at the time. 3) If I don’t e-mail him back he’ll think I’m still pissed about it and if I do he’s going to try to keep talking to me.

I decided to send him a message not addressing his apology and not asking any questions to see if he would message back. A message back will most likely mean the one thing I am dreading about e-mailing him back. That he wants to start chatting again…

From: blk_shoe_grl

Subject: RE: Hey

Hey. It’s been a busy year :) Hope you’re doing well.

There. I e-mailed him to show that I didn’t have any hard feelings and I did not ask any questions. Hopefully we could just leave it at that.

In my perfect world that’s what would have happened. But, in the real world he e-mailed me back. Shit.

From: B_80

Subjuct: Hi

Glad to hear. Ready for the big game?

I won’t. I won’t e-mail him back. He dropped off the planet once, the probability of it happening again is great. And we didn’t really have that great of a connecting. Moving on…

A picture says a thousand words (Part4: I’m a tool)

These guys just give me so much material to work with when they continue to be tools! I just can’t believe how toolish so many guys can be… We’ve already seen the “I’m going to have beautiful girls hang on me” Tool, the Shirtless/Show Off My Muscles Tool, the Posting Ridiculous WTF Pictures Tool and now we have the All Around Tool. Every single picture on their profile and every single word in their “About Me” screams “I think I’m hot shit” but to me it screams “I’m an egotistical tool”

Here is tool #1:

To top off this guys pictures here is his profile:

The first things people usually notice about me

Appearance: height, whiteness, probably gigantic smile, somewhat amazing figure, complete lack of slow-speed coordination, facial features chiseled from the finest Greek granite

Personality: energetic, optimism, whiteness, jovial/boisterous laugh, moral compass, the wheels are turning, spontaneity, sporadic sprinkles of wit and wisdom.

Now I know the whole point of an online profile is to tell people what you are like but this is so egotistical it makes me want to slap some sense into this guy!

Tool #2

At first glance you may think i’m being too harsh calling this guy a tool. He’s dressed well, looks nice and seems a good level of confident …. but then you look behind him and realize he is standing in front of women’s shoes… ok, ok, ok, maybe he works in the women’s shoe department …. but does that explain the rest of his photos??

And now you see why he is “Tool #2” !!

Tool #3

I really don’t feel like there is any explanation needed for this guy….

And there you have it. Would any of you consider dating any of these 3 bachelors based on their pictures &/or profile? If there is someone out there you can tell me to shut up, but it’s unlikely I’ll listen.

“hey”

Did they put something in the water out here on the West Coast that makes guys think they are starting a riveting conversation with me by JUST e-mailing “Hi” or “Beautiful smile”??? I really don’t get it…. maybe that works with some people that are just looking for a physical connection, but it doesn’t work for me.

You obviously didn’t take the time to read my profile and see if we have anything in common. You obviously don’t plan on making any real connection that could lead to a relationship. And you obviously just looked at my picture and had no clue what to put in an e-mail so you went with a very generic “hey.” I am not impressed and this …. this is so unimpressive that the most thought I put into writing you back was … oh wait… I didn’t put any thought into it …

The “Hey” Guy

The “<enter adjective to describe looks here>” Guy

The “I’ll at least ask one question” Guy

And last but certainly not least…

The “no words needed” Guy

Now don’t these e-mails make YOU want to just jump right on board? A word of advice: if you’re serious about this online dating stuff …. put a little more effort into an e-mail. It’s not rocket science and it won’t kill you. It might help you find the person of your dreams. But, if you’re shallow enough to only e-mail someone for their looks then maybe you just aren’t really that serious about online dating and therefore I don’t want to waste my time and energy e-mailing back and forth. I’ve spent too much time wasting time on guys like that. So if any of these guys were hurt by the fact that I didn’t e-mail them back or think that I’m stuck up, maybe they need a little more advice in the “finding a woman online” department. For now, I’ll leave them to the girls that are just looking for a good time.

A picture says a thousand words (Part 3: WTF?)

Sometimes men post pictures that make you say, “What the fuck?” These are usually ridiculous photos having nothing to do with showing the online dating world who you are…. besides maybe a tool….

Vanity

“girls day”

“teeth cleaning”

Men that are so full of themselves they actually post crap like this…

“’nuff said”

“My standard of female beauty”

“I look like usher, but better”

“Me doing me”

Just plain weird esp since these are their main/only picture

“no words needed”

“I got you something”

What??? Just …. what?

I really don’t understand why people post these insane pictures. Are you trying to show me you are creative, an alcoholic, have a sense of humor…? Honestly, they just make you look like a crazy, vain person. Moral of the story: Don’t post weird pictures, they make you look like a crazy person.